nolens volens

I think I'm getting somewhere.

"smart is not a four-letter word. that would be smar."

I MISS DARIA


'Alright, you figured me out. He's a senior who carves words into his arm. Together we're hoping to buck the trend in teen marriages.'

vision blurred

Some interesting 'failures' from the black & white film I used shooting the Horrors at the London Forum last December.

Taken using Nikon N60 (no flash) - Ilford HP5 35mm

you can never have too many pancakes

All images from Asian Drill Pop.
The weird and wonderful world of Japanese 45 sleeves.

in my heart there's flowers growin'

Somehow, I have transcended my state as an amorphous, brainless blob, existing somewhere between the primordial ooze and Dominoes, and found some level of... for want of a better word, normality. Balance. Happiness. Not-feeling-awful-iness. It's only been 72 hours, perhaps making this post a little premature, but in all honesty I've not felt like this for a long time. I want it to continue. The weight that had been crushing me into nothingness feels like it has all but evaporated for the time being. Music is love, books are my bible, my need for fresh air and daylight has risen exponentially. My head is clear, my eyes are in focus, it feels like there's reason behind my madness again.

Tywyn beach - Kodak DX6490

falling and laughing

You say that there's a thousand like you
Maybe that's true
I fell for you and nobody else
So I'm standing here so lonely
What can I do
But learn to laugh at myself
Falling and Laughing - Orange Juice

Paintings by Jeremy Geddes

Fiona: I can understand why you're angry, Marcus. But I don't feel the same as I did yesterday, if it's any help.
Marcus: What? It's all gone away? All that?
Fiona: No, but, for the moment, I feel better.
Marcus: The moment's no good for me. I can see you feel better at the moment. You just put the kettle on. What happens when you finish your tea?

Dialogue from About A Boy

(This post, as ever, is a mish-mash of the words and imagination of other people, while my own takes a bit of time out to readjust. These snippets have no visible connection, so I'll explain why they're there in case some deep meaning could be construed that really doesn't exist at all [or maybe it does and I just haven't noticed]. The song popped into my head when I came across the paintings, because I wasn't sure at first whether the figures were falling or flying - which my brain then naturally connected with the song Falling and Laughing. Referencing About A Boy with those ideas in mind stems from reading an interview with Nicholas Hoult in the Observer Magazine earlier today and remembering what a great film it is. Nick Hornby wrote the novel, which deals with the hefty subject of suicide, and falling figures are fairly inextricably linked with that [to me at least]. And I just liked the sentiment of not really knowing what might happen when you finish your tea. All very simple really.)

you get up and sleep

It's Monday
Slither down the greasy pipe
So far so good no one saw you
Hobble over any freeway
You will be like your dreams tonight

You get up and sleep
You get up and sleep
Joe the lion
Made of iron

You get up and sleep
The wind blows on your check
The day laughs in your face
Guess you'll buy a gun
You'll buy it secondhand
You'll get up and sleep

Joe the Lion - David Bowie